I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
