You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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