We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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