u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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