I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
