That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize
