The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
