I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
and you said cock pushups were impossible
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
