I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
high people should be assigned attendants
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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