NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
His hands were made for my vagina.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
