There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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