Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
We talked him into tasing himself.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I don't deserve a penis
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
