38 yer olds are good kisserssss
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
# Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
your like the ambassador to my penis.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
29 Super Simple DIY Drinking Games
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.