I want to have your abortion
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.