Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(317): View more from Indiana

The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules

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(530): View more from California

smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina

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(705): View more from Ontario

She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.

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25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
Read it at the TFLN blog
(240): View more from Maryland

He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?

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(816): View more from Missouri

... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.

(314): View more from Missouri

I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.

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(707): View more from California

Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.

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(+35): View more from

I have feelings that need drinking.

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(972): View more from Texas

You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.

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