Texts From Last Night

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  (916): View more from California

  Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be

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  (916): Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be http://tfl.nu/iw79
  Replies (24) Good night (1026) Bad night (4451)
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  (818): View more from California

  She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.

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  (818): She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on. http://tfl.nu/3dyc
  Replies (31) Good night (984) Bad night (9801)
• Favorite

  (205): View more from Alabama

  i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.

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  (205): i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail. http://tfl.nu/mxx0
  Replies (15) Good night (6374) Bad night (2064)
• Favorite

  (682): View more from Texas

  Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong

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  (682): Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong http://tfl.nu/w74n
  Replies (4) Good night (2693) Bad night (1157)
• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.

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  (901): She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab. http://tfl.nu/iean
  Replies (6) Good night (2547) Bad night (878)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?

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  (210): Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting? http://tfl.nu/he3z
  Replies (6) Good night (1219) Bad night (957)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself

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  (540): Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself http://tfl.nu/tr5c
  Replies (3) Good night (1331) Bad night (761)
• Favorite

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt

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  (504): my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt http://tfl.nu/h423
  Replies (25) Good night (1027) Bad night (1453)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.

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  (864): Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth. http://tfl.nu/f6x3
  Replies (1) Good night (1026) Bad night (647)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?

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  (708): Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in? http://tfl.nu/sg75
  Replies (5) Good night (2245) Bad night (598)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.

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  (410): Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes. http://tfl.nu/1wpu
  Replies (12) Good night (1220) Bad night (566)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.

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  (215): I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames. http://tfl.nu/kido
  Replies (9) Good night (859) Bad night (428)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up

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  (651): I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up http://tfl.nu/jq4y
  Replies (5) Good night (553) Bad night (1187)
• Favorite

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later

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  (414): Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later http://tfl.nu/j0j8
  Replies (3) Good night (581) Bad night (562)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?

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  (203): What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high? http://tfl.nu/zas2
  Replies (2) Good night (705) Bad night (265)

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