Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
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He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
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Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.