Texts From Last Night

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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.

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  (919): please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car. http://tfl.nu/gqa0
  Replies (8) Good night (539) Bad night (1886)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?

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  (917): Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties? http://tfl.nu/8a9h
  Replies (283) Good night (1272) Bad night (13500)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.

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  (703): just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress. http://tfl.nu/rj37
  Replies (7) Good night (2199) Bad night (3906)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila

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  (508): Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila http://tfl.nu/42fz
  Replies (24) Good night (1395) Bad night (3841)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list

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  (647): Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list http://tfl.nu/yikq
  Replies (23) Good night (4973) Bad night (880)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition

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  (765): That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition http://tfl.nu/31mo
  Replies (4) Good night (1835) Bad night (1324)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.

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  (801): P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play. http://tfl.nu/s3w0
  Replies (10) Good night (2227) Bad night (538)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  You fucked her?! HER?!

  (1-205): View more from Alabama

  She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.

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  (205): You fucked her?! HER?! (1-205): She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir. http://tfl.nu/jld9
  Replies (6) Good night (3623) Bad night (646)
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  (914): View more from New York

  Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.

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  (914): Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game. http://tfl.nu/xx77
  Replies (15) Good night (3198) Bad night (669)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?

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  (407): We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher? http://tfl.nu/1efu
  Replies (3) Good night (482) Bad night (876)
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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.

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  (865): I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night. http://tfl.nu/z7o8
  Replies (8) Good night (1032) Bad night (337)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it

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  (425): I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it http://tfl.nu/rt0o
  Replies (8) Good night (1180) Bad night (360)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300

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  (812): Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300 http://tfl.nu/t71x
  Replies (7) Good night (580) Bad night (1420)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.

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  (443): Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her. http://tfl.nu/t8u7
  Replies (0) Good night (513) Bad night (381)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.

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  (214): Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too. http://tfl.nu/2rql
  Replies (2) Good night (679) Bad night (225)

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