i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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