I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
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