Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I pour the whiskey from now on
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
