i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Randomize
