my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
