and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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