He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
this hospital has no fireball
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
