I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
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I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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