i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
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