You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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