YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
