I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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