I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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