I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I just found puke in my bra..
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
