so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize
