Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Randomize