Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
