The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
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I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
She needs sedatives and a leash
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
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Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
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