I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
