We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
