So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
