She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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