Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
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You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
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We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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