paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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