Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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