Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
