great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
