I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
