how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Randomize
