who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
