Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
