Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
