I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
