Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
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