you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I would fuck him just for his dog
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
