just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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