What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
