I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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