yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
