we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I still have a little drunk in my system
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
