that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
