How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
