i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
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