Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize