hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
