I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
