My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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