I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
