just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
