This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
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