Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
