dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
